The Pasadena Snob recently journeyed to The Salvation Army Antique Store, located at 35 Waverly Drive Pasadena, CA 91105. It is off of Fair Oaks, south of Del Mar.
Conceptually, the store wants to be The Huntington Collection. For those not familiar, the Huntington Collection is a nearby high end consignment shop carrying a quite respectable load of semi antique furniture – tasteful, if worn, china cabinets, couches, no-longer-fashionable fur coats and the like. It’s where elderly (or recently deceased) Old Money types haunting Orange Grove condos dump their no longer wanted detritus on a grateful middle class looking to scoop up a bargain.
The Huntington Collection is so successfully snobby, in fact, that it is barely open and could care less if it gets your business. It is only open one weekend day a month; not very convenient for those cretins who actually have to show up at their jobs and work for a living during the week.
According to the woman in the unintentional tube top manning the cash register, the Salvation Army Antique Store is much the same, as it “gets the pick” of all the items flowing through the Pasadena Salvation Army receiving station on Del Mar. Presumably, only the classiest of items should filter through to the SAAS.
Unfortunately for any antique hunters, the only antiques at the Salvation Army Antique Store are the customers themselves. On the pleasant Saturday afternoon that the PasadenaSnob staff visited, the said antique customers contributed mightily to the overpowering scent of human number two which permeated the establishment. Let us just say that several Depends were not so dependable on that day.
Nonetheless, something interesting is definitely afoot in the Salvation Army Antique store. Whoever is picking out the artwork to send “up” to the Store is either:
1) completely incompetent, or…
2) has some kind of West Hollywood obsession with ultra campy items, or…
3) secretly hates their job and is playing a mean joke on their employer.
Having overheard a conversation between two no-doubt recently paroled staff wondering “where Meecheegan is” while sorting items in the store, we no doubt believe that the answer is #1.
Please rest assured that the pictures below are not doctored in any way and represent what we actually found in the store.
WORK OF ART NUMBER ONE, WHICH WE HAVE TITLED CENTERPIECE FOR CRACK DEALER LIVING OFF LAKE AVE NORTH OF COLORADO CIRCA 1987
This piece is over 3 feet high and features media such as black plastic styrofoam, mirrors and two black panthers facing off against the backdrop of a pyramid. Scent of musk and stale incense.
WORK OF ART NUMBER TWO, WHICH WE HAVE TITLED HOMAGE TO JOHN WAYNE GACY, or HONEY, LET’S SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF OUR KIDS
The operating question here is, “what is this clown holding in his right hand, which he is surely hiding from us?”
WORK OF ART NUMBER THREE, WHICH WE HAVE TITLED LATINA VOMITING AGAINST A BLUE BACKGROUND IN A RED DRESS
This is not a joke, this was actually for sale as of 4/16/2011. The realistic sweaty nature of the vomiting woman’s hair leads us to believe that, like the Crossing Of The Delaware, this painting records an actual historical event.
Someone, somehow, picked it out to “make the cut” as it were, for the Salvation Army Antique Store. So many questions…
Why is the toilet partially black?
Why would someone paint, let alone have, black baseboard molding with blue sponge painted walls (the “sponge painted walls” obviously date this picture to the early 2004 Arcadia/Temple City school of interior decorating)?
Why would someone focus on this image as one worth the hours required to memorialize it in painting form?
Why is this woman wearing red shoes, a red dress and red stockings all at the same time?
Isn’t this what art all about – forcing us to ask these difficult questions about existence in our beloved Pasadena?
No, of course not.
>>>SHOCKING UPDATE <<<
PasadenaSnob followed up on the above-mentioned works of art approximately four weeks after our original inspection.
The Psycho Clown print and the Vomiting Latina painting were both gone! Could it be that someone purchased these? Or were they burned in the parking lot?
Just another one of Pasadena’s mysteries.
However, we do have SHOCKING confirmation that the Panther/Crack Dealer ensemble was SOLD.
Name and location of the purchaser are reluctantly withheld.
For those in disbelief, below is the photographic proof: