Pasadena, CA. March/early April, 2012. Here you are, in the local Vons, Pavillions, Gelsons or whatever, just trying to buy some food.
You innocently place your items on the checkout counter and then…then…you look up…and you see this in the magazine rack:
…and your eyeballs explode. Yes, Jessica Simpson’s naked Buddha impression has seared itself into your brain. You didn’t want this. You didn’t ask for this. But now it’s there.
Every time you need to buy food, for the next 30 days, you cannot avoid it. There it is again…
I stopped buying food altogether and lost 46 pounds.
Random people started covering it up…
Just when you were starting to question if maybe the terrorists were right, and were thinking that maybe someone should have bought Jessica Simpson a burka for her baby shower…
…it’s all over. Elle has shown mercy on us all and put a new issue in its place.
Much better. Ri-hanna seems to be a good role model for young women, right? I hear the hits keep coming for her, and that she’s providing the beats for Chris Brown’s latest album. Sounds like a young lady with a good head on her shoulders.
At least Jessica Simpson’s supermarket checkout aisle reign of terror is over.